I have been away for far too long.
I think it's time I came back to ElJay.

However, in order for me to do so, I need continuous feedback. That means comments, because I am a loser and thrive off of the attention of others.

No I'm kidding.

As soon as I figure how, I going to put pictures of NETC up here. THEY ARE SO GOOD. And I really want to tell a story, narrated by Stan, The Greener Weiner.

I am still sore from Mortal Combat. Grace left a nice bruise on my nunga-nunga...I can only hope I left a meaner one on her ASS. And the Chinese Food we ate made my skin break out.

But it was so worth it.

My iPod is BROKEN. And I honestly never thought this would happen, but I've turned into a big fat snob and I can't live without the fucking thing. The second I realized that it's poor mechanical life was over, I wept for like six hours and then immediately began plans for purchasing a new one. I love the entire concept of the iPod, marketing ploys included.

SO. Here are some important questions that I need answered:

1. Do I buy one of the new Nanos? I really, really love the obnoxious colors and the convenient size, and for 200 it's a pretty good deal.

2. Or do I just go all out and get an iPod video? Will I really, really use the video feature? I'm not exactly iPod savvy just yet...And that's a good 300 dollars. But I want it.

3. I think I might just want one of the old school original iPods, not a nano. And they don't make the mini's anymore, anyways.

4. Or do I wait...I've heard rumors about the NEW iPod, the crazy new one for 350 where the entire front of it is the screen. Hmmm.

I don't know. All I know is that I need a new one sometime soon. Or I'll die.

So let me know what you think.

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    content content

Let's Get Fucked Up And Die


Who loves memmons?
EVERYONE. Seriously. Everyone absolutely adores me.

A thought just decendeth from the heavens: I wonder if my Neopet is still alive. I wonder what my neopet's name is. Or WHAT it was.


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The Matt Damon Challenger Double-XL is NOT pregnant.
She has her period.

As a matter of fact, she got it just as i was getting home yesterday, and she MENSTRUATED ALL OVER THE DRIVEWAY.

My FUCKING SHIT BOX car is now, not only have faulty breaks and a tail light out and i scummy windshield and broken wipers and a hole the size of a nickel in the muffler, SHE'S LEAKING FUCKING TRANSMISSION FLUID.

I'm ready to light this peice of SHIT on fire and just call it a day.
fuck this.
fuck all of this.
fuck ME.

so for TWO SOLID WEEKS i have no vehicle.
how am i suppose to even live without a car? how am i supposed to live?
gracie lou. i will not be picking you up in the morning for a while. im really sorry. it just wont work. i can only fit two people on my razor scooter. and lea, you'll be toting my ass around. i love you. im sorry. theres not way out of it, you bitch nig. YOU'RE STUCK WITH ME.

oh my god i need a juicebox. waaahh.
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    does he kiss your eyelids in the morning...?


You know what you guys?

This summer, I have found myself saying that line over and over again, and it's TRUE.

We're seniors now. Yeah, it's fucking scary as hell. I don't even know if I'm going to graduate with you guys. I might end up a 13th grader this time next year.

Yeah, maybe this summer did not go as planned for you. Maybe you didn't do everything you wanted to, maybe some really awful shit happened. Maybe right now, you don't know where you're going, or what you're going to do. Maybe you owe someone a lot of money: I know I do. Maybe you have no car right now, maybe you don't even have your license, maybe you can't afford all the things you need to find a way to pay for. Maybe right now your future is not looking very exciting, it's kind of murky, you know? You don't really KNOW what you'll be doing a year or two from me, I know EXACTLY how you feel.

But just take it a day at a time. You're going to wake up tomorrow and have a chance to not do what you did today. You'll have a chance to do again what maybe you didn't do the rght way the first time. We still have that, because we are young. We're young, and we're smart, and we have years and years and years ahead of us. And even if those years seem scary, and you feel like things aren't planned out the right way, or maybe things aren't planned out at's okay. Relax.

It could be worse. It could be so much worse.
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    Singin to the tune of faggot faggot faggooooootttttt.

Rocky Horror Picture Show

Yeah. So Grace and I went all over the place today to get stuff for Rocky Horror. I got the night off work, and inconvenienced a bunch of people to cover my shift, and spent money that I really shouldn't have and was willing to spend even MORE money that I really shouldn't...

But then Grace decided she didn't want to go. She went to see fireworks instead. With Anthony and Katie.

Was I pissed? Yes. I was very upset. It wasn't even so much that I was UPSET, I was HURT. I was disappointed, because I killed to get the night off, and was wicked excited to go see it, and now I'm not going to be able to until the 20. Will I even have the money then? I don't know. Will my crazy mom let me go then? I don't know.

I got over it. It's not that big of a deal. But I don't think I've ever done that to Grace, or Katie. And Anthony wasn't even part of the original plan. Not that I don't like Anthony or anything, I think he's great. But I feel kind of like I was replaced, you know?

Whatever though. Whining about it and getting upset solves nothing. I'm done being pissed off.

I'll see it on the 20th, so, hey.
No big.

Really. It's okay.
We're still sisters/lesbians.
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    All The Small Old?


What do you guys think about Grace I think she is a sex-o-matic love god. I think you guys should all comment on how much you like her and think she is awesome because I think she is really really awesome. She is kinda awesome to the max. No one could ever compare to how hahdkor she is. She is the fucking tits. And that is all I have to say. Oh and Heather sucks for not hanging out anymore. You should really call Grace sometimes.
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    Bright eyes

i need like, 10 pants. get me a pair of pant? PANT.

so, list of cool things that samleaianandme will be doing over the long, sweltering summer:

1. camping.
2. canobie lake park!
3. random acts of terrorism
4. get your fuckin mix tape outta here
5. more camping
6. collecting STD's
7. snorting lines of coke off the basement floor
8. sitting/lounging/masturbating (not together, of course. except for sam and ian. whoops! just kidding!)
9. eating. sleeping. a few more random acts of terrorism.
10. camping. for the third time. because you know the poison ivy will NOT stop us.

yeah. and, invitation only. we've decided that we dont want any other friends. ever. at all. because we are too cool and too fucked up and too jacked up on coke to try and be social. so FUCK YOU, we're CAMPING, and we're gonna like it.

and get your fuckin mix tape outta here.

in all honesty though, i've decided it's too hot to do anything except for number 8. my car runs like shit in a can on wheels painted green with spider legs hanging out the back.

you gucking know it. GUCKING. shut the GUCK up.

ahh ha ha.
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    lea's vag. eeewww.

i made the list. did you make the list? i did. made the list. oh yes, on the list, right here.

Hey, you asshole, READ THE FUCKING MANUEL.
dont come around here asking me how to plug your shit in, its on page fucking one of your shit manuel you shit shithead.

i need chicken.
fuck chocolate, fuck candy and sugar and sex and all that.

CHICKEN is the goddam way to go.

AGONY OF MIND was intense. gail is a BITCH. adminstration should have said: dont stand up, stay in your seats, because we KNOW you will mosh, you are HIGHSCHOOLERS, we're not dumb, so instead of UNPLUGGING THE BAND AND BEING DOUCHEBAGS ABOUT THE PERFORMANCE, we will THINK about the situation and work to PREVENT disasters.

i should be the principal. fuck this.
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right. so.

New York City.
I honestly left a huge peice of myself in Times Square. And I don't mean like, a peice of flesh. there is no Scab-O'-Memmons on the sidewalk somewhere in NYC. No hangnail. That's not what I meant.

We went into a Wendy's, and there must have been 50 people in there, and it was loud and it was crazy and scary and annoying and hectic and confusing and it was so RIGHT. In NH, you walk into your fast-food restaraunt, and calmly order your food, slowly count out change and hope to god they actually come back with the right order.
In New York, you yell what you want to a girl who speaks ten words of english, throw your money over the counter (and over someone else's head) grab your tray of food while running away and dodging change and then shove your way to a table. THAT is fast food.

On the sidewalk, you are invisible. No one cares about you. It's actually an amazing feeling, knowing that you don't need to prove anything to anyone. The anonymity of it makes you feel...invincible. Like you could do anything because it doesn't even matter.

I cannot wait to go back.
Comment if you want pictures.
(Or if you want a more detailed update...memmons does New York!)
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